Exclusive Scoop: Amazon is not working on a tablet!

There's been a surge in the Amazon tablet rumors over the past few days.  The most recent rumor is that Amazon will stream content to the tablet. This rumor is actually half true. Amazon will be streaming content, but there is no tablet involved.

You're not going to believe this, and I really hope you're sitting down. I've seen pictures of Amazon's prototype tablet, and it only has a 5" screen. The screen is so small because it's not the main viewing method. There's a new technology integrated into the device, and it will change everything.

Amazon has been experimenting with direct transmission to the brain. Yes, who needs a screen when you can simply beam the content into your head?

Update: I see that I forgot to mention ebooks. I asked and yes, the new device will support Kindle ebooks. But they've encountered a few problems with the enhanced formats. the projection technology for text doesn't have adequate signal control to handle embedded audio and video. Several beta testers reported excruciating headaches, so there's a good chance that the enhanced content will be disabled.

Second Update: No, I cannot post the pictures. It looks vaguely like a 5" handheld, and I wasn't shown any other component. I'm not sure how the direct to brain transmission is done.

About Nate Hoffelder (11578 Articles)
Nate Hoffelder is the founder and editor of The Digital Reader:"I've been into reading ebooks since forever, but I only got my first ereader in July 2007. Everything quickly spiraled out of control from there. Before I started this blog in January 2010 I covered ebooks, ebook readers, and digital publishing for about 2 years as a part of MobileRead Forums. It's a great community, and being a member is a joy. But I thought I could make something out of how I covered the news for MobileRead, so I started this blog."

25 Comments on Exclusive Scoop: Amazon is not working on a tablet!

  1. That’s coming from the same source as the report of the quadHD iPad3 due next month, right?
    Good thing I read article tags.

  2. Brain-Computer interface?! Would be the first of its kind

    • Hardly! Sony announced theirs five years ago.
      Main hangup is they tied it to the PS3 and ended up with drooling babies staring at blank walls. So they had to go back to the drawing board.

  3. WTF? Have you gone mad?

  4. BrainPal v1.0 , eh?

  5. link bating title- 93/100

    ridiculous article 62/100

    future credibility 2/100

    By the way “Amazon IS Working” not “Amazon ARE working”

    • Companies are plural. that’s the way I’ve always handled it on this blog.

      • That’s perfect in a world where Sarah Palin can make her own “facts” about American History but both are still wrong.

        Is a company singular or plural? Part 2
        by MATTHEW STIBBE on JANUARY 16, 2007
        XWelcome Googler! If you find this page useful, you might want to subscribe to the RSS feed for updates on this topic.

        My recent post about the Economist Style Guide included a passing comment about whether companies were singular or plural. It generated a surprising number of comments and a some grammarphile controversy.

        The Economist says they’re singular. I agreed.

        But today (coming back from a week’s holiday in Goa), I’ve come across a situation which leaves me scratching my head – a two-person company. Writing about them as a singular entity seems oddly formal and doesn’t look right at all.

        It just goes to prove the old adage: ‘if in doubt, prefer geniality to good grammar’.

        http://www.badlanguage.net/is-a-company-singular-or-plural-part-2

        • Except for the fact that most people conjugate a company’s name as singular but use the plural pronoun. They are the ones with poor grammar. At least I’m consistent.

          And besides, this point is still debated heatedly, and that proves I’m not completely wrong.

        • Since you brought up Palin when there was really no reason to I must point out that according to an expert on NPR she was basically right.

          http://www.npr.org/2011/06/06/137011636/how-accurate-were-palins-comments-on-paul-revere

          • Gary – show me the history in which Paul Revere went riding through Boston clanging bells and firing warning shots and spouting NRA talking points and THEN we’ll talk … 😀

          • Don’t worry Gary, haters will be haters and there will always be people who think they got all the facts when they don’t.

            They’re just too sure that they’re always right to ever question whether their conclusions are really valid or not.

            Often forcing the conversation to an either for or against choice and don’t tolerate any gray areas, as that would allow for the possibility that something they are arguing against could possibly have any valid point and thus the true intent of the conversation gets lost.

            Finally deteriorating the debate to a battle of wills instead simple logical reasoning, which is ultimately pointless and thus should be ignored.

  6. So … from your reply to Mike Cane I guess you admit to once again simply posting link bait?

    • “Once again?” When have I done it before?

      And I wouldn’t call this linkbait. It’s satire. I’m making fun of all the rumor-mongering. Now, if anyone had fallen for it, it would be linkbait. but it’s too absurd for that too happen.

      P.S. When you next see your therapist, why don’t you work on your reasons for coming over here (from the blog Gear Diary) and being a troll? It’s none of my business, but it might help you.

      • Nate,
        With all due respect (the respect you clearly did not show Michael just now with your therapist/troll nonsense) let’s at least admit that when you use a title like “Exclusive Scoop: Amazon are not working on a tablet!” you are doing it so someone seeing the title will click. That’s link bate. It is certainly fair game but let’s call it what it is shall we?

        • He continues to come over to my blog (belonging to someone he clearly does not like) and be a troll. Why does he bother? It is a valid question. BTW, you might want to go reread his previous comments. He has called me an idiot and he has asked if I am simple. As an obvious troll he deserves no respect.

          Dan, this post might be linkbait but it is also a practical joke. It was written to be funny, not to get people to click the link. Arguably that would make it the exception to the rule.

          • You should re-read your own comments, and if you think I was unjustified for calling into question your fundamental understanding of what hardware and software are based on what *you* said … I’m not sure what to do.

            That hardware / software distinction was fundamental and key to every element of your point before, and when confronted you simply called me a troll and never addressed it – like you are doing here. You took offense when being challenged, and never answered the questions.

            How you deal with things is your choice, but I won’t let you pretend this is all about poor you getting misused by me … while I admit (and admitted then) that I ‘took a tone’, my points were 100% valid. And in spite of the follow-ups, all you can point to is calling me a troll – in a very evasive, defensive way.

            It is very clear what you want here … and critical thinking isn’t it.

        • Not that it’s any of my business, but the post is clearly labeled as “humor” right below the headline. Coming in the wake of all the fuss over yesterday’s preposterous iPad 3 rumor it only took me two tries to get the gag. Humor, of course, is subjective..

  7. I would argue that your ‘non functional nook’ post was intentionally inflammatory with the pure intent of gaining hits rather than generating serious debate.

    I would say that the same is true here – but I am willing to accept that the intent was satirical, though the reader has to work a bit to get there. I suppose that is a critique rather than a debate.

    As for me being a ‘troll’, or an a$$h01e … when you post controversial items, should you not expect to be challenged? That is all I have done. In the nook case you presented incorrect legal statements, misrepresented what the nook T&D did and should cover, and so on. I challenged you on that, and you took it personally.

    I like to read many blogs, and in spite of reading ebooks of one type or other since HP200LX 20 years ago, I have really only started actively following the ebook world since the iPad 1 and more recently as I also got a nook Touch. Someone pointed out your site …

    Personally I think that any idea that cannot withstand examination is not worthy of consideration. I regularly have spirited debates on a variety of sites and forums across the tech, gaming, music and other realms outside of my daily work life.

    But if having your ideas challenged is unwelcome, I will not comment. Your call.

    • Many commenters challenged me in that other post, but you were the only one who was insulting.

      A number of the commenters did a very good job of showing me to be an idiot, but you were the only one who was insulting.

      Perhaps I should take it as a compliment that you think I’m clever enough to have written that post to gain hits. Actually, I am, but not at that time. I was angry; I wrote. It wasn’t one of my brighter moves but it also wasn’t any more complicated than simply being angry.

      • “Perhaps I should take it as a compliment that you think I’m clever enough to have written that post to gain hits. Actually, I am, but not at that time. I was angry; I wrote. It wasn’t one of my brighter moves but it also wasn’t any more complicated than simply being angry.”

        Nate, I want to give you credit for admitting that- most would not. No not the “I am” part. as that was borderline arrogant. (JOKING!) But admitting you wrote it in anger and doing so “wasn’t one of my brighter moves”.

        I have long wanted a computer that senses your pulse rate and, if it deems you are writing in anger, locks you out or auto-sends it to someone who can check it for tone, truthiness (yes, I used Colber’s word) etc…

  8. I will retweet this post. The comments are much more involving than that Amazon tablet talk.

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