Exclusive Scoop: The Beatles to Get Band back Together in Time for Kindle Tablet Launch
Editor’s note: The following post is a joke, and it is simply meant to be funny. It is not intended as a joke played on the reader.
Everyone is reporting today about Amazon and their plans to start a Netflix style ebook subscription system, but I didn’t post about that because I have a better story.
Do you remember last year when The Beatles music finally went digital and it was an iTunes exclusive? Amazon have been working for the longest time to find a way to one up Apple, and they finally did it.
Sometime in the next couple months, Amazon will announce the new Kindle Tablet. I now know that they will have The Beatles on hand to promote the Kindle Tablet and announce their comeback tour. Amazon will also be getting exclusive music, video, and other content from the band. You’re only going to be able to buy The Beatles' newest song on the Kindle Tablet and nowhere else.
I’ve been told that they might also perform a song at the launch event, but that is still up in the air. But if it’s true then this will be the first public performance of the band in 42 years. What’s even better is that I have confirmation that all 4 Beatles will be there.
Yes, all 4 Beatles!
Amazon have successfully revived George Harrison and John Lennon. That is Amazon’s secret, and it’s going to change everything. Amazon will be able to bring back virtually anyone and get them to sign contracts for new and exclusive content. Can you imagine what that will do to the music industry?
Also, I’ve been told that the revivivi revifica undeading process is why the Kindle Tablet has been delayed for the past 6 months.
The first attempt to bring John Lennon back from the dead didn’t quite work right. They did bring him back, but he was closer to being a zombie than a live person and that’s just not something you could put on stage (though Marilyn Manson was briefly interested in a partnership). Plus, zombie Lennon ate Ringo Starr before anyone could stop him (TBH, I don’t think anyone even tried). Luckily they got the bugs out and successfully revived Lennon (again), Ringo, and Harrison.
Just think what this is going to mean for The Beatles. Not only are they bigger than Jesus, they can also come back from the dead.
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Comments
Chris Meadows September 12, 2011 um 2:42 am
You know, it’s still almost 7 months until April 1st…
fjtorres September 12, 2011 um 7:53 am
I guess it’s a sign of the times than even jokes need disclaimers.
Kills half the fun right there.
Mike Cane September 12, 2011 um 8:23 am
"undeading process" LMAO!
Tyler September 12, 2011 um 9:35 am
Your disclaimer probably should have been at the bottom and not the top. It kind of ruins it. Plus where is the part that says, "No Zombie or Beatle, living or dead was hurt in making this story"
Nate Hoffelder September 12, 2011 um 10:04 am
By the end of the post it should have been obvious that it was a joke. But yes, i like your line even better.