The photo below was posted on Reddit last night, and it shows that there are worse things than having to wait 5 weeks to get a hot new gadget.
According to the comments, this amazing amount of damage was the work of FedEx, and the usual steps of putting it in rice, turning it off and turning it on, etc did not help. Even the Genius Bar's suggestion of doing a factory reset did not help restore this iPad Mini.
I have broken some gadgets in my day, but I have never quite managed to be this thorough. This is the single best attempt to destroy a tablet (short of Blendtec's will it blend skits) that I have ever seen.