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Jeffsum is a Jeff Goldblum Lorem Ipsum Generator

Back before we had bots almost capable of writing non-gibberish, designers used filler text called lorem ipsum. And with the rise of the internet, developers have amused themselves by creating custom lorem ipsum generators (I’ve mentioned them here on the blog every so often) and now I have a new one for you.

Jeffsum generates placeholder text in the distinctive style of famed actor Jeff Goldblum. If you read it to yourself, you can almost hear his voice:

You’re a very talented young man, with your own clever thoughts and ideas. Do you need a manager? Did he just throw my cat out of the window? Jaguar shark! So tell me – does it really exist? Yeah, but John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists.

Just my luck, no ice. Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine? Jaguar shark! So tell me – does it really exist? Checkmate… Hey, you know how I’m, like, always trying to save the planet? Here’s my chance. What do they got in there? King Kong?

Jaguar shark! So tell me – does it really exist? Yeah, but John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists. Hey, you know how I’m, like, always trying to save the planet? Here’s my chance. Hey, you know how I’m, like, always trying to save the planet? Here’s my chance.

God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates Man. Man destroys God. Man creates Dinosaurs. Hey, take a look at the earthlings. Goodbye! We gotta burn the rain forest, dump toxic waste, pollute the air, and rip up the OZONE! 'Cause maybe if we screw up this planet enough, they won’t want it anymore!

Enjoy!

Jeffsum via BoingBoing

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Comments


MKS 13 September, 2019 um 2:36 am

It’s sad. Those aren’t the words of Jeff Goldblum. Those are the words of screenwriters who wrote scripts performed by Jeff Goldblum.


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