Stupid Quotes: 55 Dumb Sayings + 6 Good Counters
In some situations, the only thing that helps is a silly remark to play down the situation. If you are confronted with a stupid saying, you can use a quick-witted counterattack. In this article, you can find a selection of stupid sayings and tips for a good counterattack.
Of course, humor is always subjective. While some find silly sayings funny, they may not come across as well to others. However, just because a saying is silly doesn’t mean it can’t be funny.
Stupid Quotes for Every Occasion
Sometimes you find yourself in situations where a dumb quote just fits; for example, if someone has laid the groundwork too well for you to ignore, or the situation just brings a stupid saying to mind.
In some cases, we also perceive the people around us as stupid, either because they said something stupid or maybe because you get upset with them every time you meet them.
Quotes about Stupid People
You have most likely been annoyed by someone else’s stupidity before. Stupidity has always caused confusion and head-shaking.
Quite a few intellectuals have taken issue with stupid acts and people. Below you will find some quotes on the subject.
- "Unhappiness is everywhere; just beyond the door; or stupidity, which is worse."
- "The two most common elements in the world are hydrogen and stupidity."
- "In politics stupidity is not a handicap."
- "Stubborn and ardent clinging to one’s opinion is the best proof of stupidity."
(Michel de Montaigne)
- "Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
A stupid saying can be a paradox, which is an unexpected contradiction, or contain an oxymoron, where two contradictory words are put together. Irony and wordplay are also included in many silly quotes.
Funny Stupid Quotes
Puns and wordplay form the basis for a variety of silly quotes. Sometimes you only understand puns on second glance, but this makes them no less funny.
Even if you say one yourself, sometimes not everyone will understand the joke behind it – and you will look stupid.
However, that’s just a risk you take when incorporating silly sayings into a conversation or message.
- "I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."
- "There is no sin except stupidity."
- "Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
- "I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out."
- "When life gives you melons, you could be dyslexic."
- "I’m not a smartass, I really know better."
- "Life would be a lot easier if it wasn’t so hard."
- "I’m a smart person. I just do stupid things."
- "I can’t brain today. I have the dumb."
- "There are three kinds of people in this world: those who can count and those who can’t."
Stupid and Inspirational Quotes
Everyday life brings various problems and difficulties. So why not escape from the seriousness of everyday life every now and then and laugh (or at least smile) about your small worries and hardships?
A silly saying is particularly suitable for this and, moreover, often even contains small truths. The following quotes are not only silly, but they can also be inspirational.
- "Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society." (Mark Twain)
- "Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to 'fall asleep right now.'" (Unknown)
- "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." (Unknown)
- "Stupidity is a talent for misconception." (Edgar Allan Poe)
- "To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost." (Gustave Flaubert)
Stupid Quotes That Make No Sense
Stupid sayings often take advantage of proverbs and modify them to make them seem pointless or funny.
The actual message of the saying is lost and it becomes nonsense – the goal of any stupid saying.
All the following sayings are from unknown authors.
- "Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see."
- "I don’t have a solution, but I admire the problem."
- "If you don’t want to be mistaken for a doormat, get off the floor."
- "He who has no solution, needs no problems."
- "He’s about as sharp as a marble."
- "It’s always darkest before it’s pitch black."
- "I’m on the whisky diet. I’ve lost three days already."
- "Money can’t buy happiness."
- "Life without liberty is like a body without a spirit."
- "You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold."
Stupid Quotes about Laziness
Everyone is lazy from time to time. Whether it’s at home, at work, or at school, there are probably times when you just have no motivation. With the following stupid but funny sayings you can humorously justify your lazy life.
All the following quotes are from unknown authors.
- "The only problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re done."
- "Work never killed anyone, but I don’t want to take any risk."
- "Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you."
- "I’m not running away from hard work, I’m too lazy to run."
- "Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday."
Stupid Quotes in Case of Ignorance
Ignorance can be embarrassing in some cases. With a stupid saying on the subject, you can skillfully overplay your ignorance and draw ridicule. The following sayings are suitable for different situations.
Defeats can weigh on your ego and self-worth. Humor can help you overcome them faster, and you can soon look to the future with renewed motivation.
Silly sayings can downplay problems so that your failure feels less drastic and you can face it more indifferently.
- "Follow me, I also do not know where to go."
- "I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth."
- "If you can’t convince them, confuse them!"
- "I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance."
- "I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally."
- "Better to keep silent and let people think you are a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."
- "If I were you, I would rather be me."
- "It’s better to be the greatest of all stupids than to be the dumbest of all intelligent people."
- "Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."
- "The problem with educating stupid people was that they didn’t know they were stupid."
Stupid Pickup Lines
Approaching your crush is a challenge for many. Although a spontaneous approach is usually better received, a pickup line can also help to break the ice.
Be aware that there are also many stupid pickup lines that you should avoid if you have serious intentions. With the following pickup lines, however, you can certainly harvest a laugh or two.
All the following lines are from unknown authors.
- "Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for."
- "Did you just come out of the oven? Because you’re hot."
- "Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future!"
- "Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"
- "Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see."
- "Did we just board the Hogwarts Express? Because it feels like we’re headed somewhere magical."
- "If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?"
- "I’m really glad I just bought life insurance because when I saw you, my heart stopped."
- "Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve only met you in my dreams."
- "If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I’d give you a 9, because I’m the 1 you’re missing."
Tips for a Good Counter
When someone shoves a stupid line at you, you may be offended or even feel attacked. With a good counter, you can hit back and come across as humorous.
In general, you should not take stupid quotes too seriously. They often use black humor at the expense of others. Do not want to lower yourself to the same level, you can heed the following tips for a good counter.
To have the right comeback at the right moment, you must of course be quick-witted. But only a few possess this ability naturally.
Most spend hours pondering the appropriate response, and only afterwards do they come up with a quick-witted counter. But then nothing more usually comes of it, because the opportunity for a counterattack is lost.
A quick-witted answer should be spontaneous, hitting and at best humorous. That way, you can fend off a stupid line without looking grumpy. On the contrary, a good answer will make you look intelligent, confident and self-assured. Even if you’re actually rather less quick-witted, you can learn this skill.
When you feel attacked, you probably want to defend yourself first. The first thing that comes to mind is probably an insult. However, by doing so, you’re encouraging conflict and coming across as aggressive and humorless. This has nothing to do with a good counter.
In fact, a good counter should portray you in a good light. Think of a counterattack more as a wink that allows you to counter stupid remarks authentically. Instead of an insult, you should rather give an ironic but intelligent answer.
A counterattack should always be spontaneous. If you prepare suitable answers beforehand, your statement will often seem stilted and not very quick-witted. Therefore, your counterattack should always be improvised.
Even if you don’t have exact answers, you can practice improvisation and repartee. You can do this best with friends and family you trust and don’t need to be embarrassed in front of.
Especially if you are normally rather shy and reserved, you can hone your quick-witted answers here in a safe environment.
With humor, your counters will be much better received and you can counter a stupid saying confidently. Irony is particularly useful for a quick-witted reply.
In this way you meet your counterpart with a wink and smile. You can get your fellow men on your side, while your counterpart can only stand there looking silly with his stupid saying.
Good Counters to Stupid Quotes
You can counter a stupid saying with very different strategies. If you keep these strategies in mind, nothing will stand in the way of a good counter.
They help you develop more quick-wittedness, so that you can also improvise a good counter. You may soon have the opportunity to use one of the following examples.
You can counter a silly statement or a stupid saying with an agreement. This way you avoid unnecessary discussions, react humorously and make sure that the stupid saying falls into the bottomless pit.
Example: "You don’t look good today."
-> "Well observed. I was beginning to think no one had noticed."
Make a Compliment
However, you don’t necessarily have to address the content of the statement to land a good counter. You can also just ironically praise your counterpart for his stupid saying. He probably won’t think of a retort to that.
Example: "You don’t look good today."
-> "Thank you for pointing that out. I wouldn’t have thought you were such a good judge of character."
Exaggeration as a Counter
With exaggeration, a good counter is certain. You appear to agree with your counterpart’s statement, but really, you emphasize that you actually consider it pointless. This is best accomplished when your remark is far from any reality.
Example: "You’ve got a face like a wet weekend."
-> "I should take up a new career: as a weatherman on TV."
Counter Stupid Quotes with Nonsense
You can also respond to rudeness or stupid quotes with complete nonsense. Your answer does not refer to the previous question or statement.
This way you emphasize that you do not want to answer seriously. This can also be a good counter to a stupid saying.
Example: "What are you most afraid of?"
-> "Of salty popcorn."
Counter with Query
With a targeted query, you can easily use the content of a person’s statement against them. This way you can put things back in perspective and draw attention to how inappropriate your counterpart’s statement was – a perfect counter.
Example: "You don’t look well today."
-> "That may be so. And what about you? You seem to have had very little sleep last night."
Counter by Interpreting
By interpreting the statement, you can reinterpret it to your advantage. You can easily turn an insult into a compliment for yourself. The stupid saying comes across differently and better than your counterpart intended.
Example: "You don’t look good today"
-> "I guess that means I look stunning today."