Skip to main content

Bloomberg Has a Functioning Time Machine

click to enlarge

One of my life goals is to prove that time travel is possible, and today Bloomberg helped me get one step closer to completing that goal.

There’s an interesting footnote to today’s Amazon event. I’m sure you know that Amazon launched the Kindle Fire and 3 Kindle ebook readers. The event didn’t begin until 10 am but Bloomberg managed to post a complete summary of the presentation (including a play by play) long before anything happened.

Trust me, I was there and the Bloomberg  account was spot on. But here’s the interesting part: Bloomberg  posted their story at 9:35 am – long before anyone could have known what was going to happen.

This, folks, is conclusive proof that Bloomberg has a time machine.  How else would you explain it? This isn’t the first time it’s happened, either. Bloomberg also posted their story on the Kobo Germany launch the day before it actually launched. That tells me that they clearly have used the time machine before.

But it also brings up a couple questions. Why are they using it for such a petty purpose and why are they being so clumsy? If I had a time machine, I would be using it to quietly dominate the various trading markets. I’d also use it to make sure that no bloggers found out about it – hold on a second, there’s someone at the doo

Similar Articles


Shel September 29, 2011 um 3:19 am


Walfischbucht September 29, 2011 um 6:40 am

Ah, that explains a lot. Yesterday I was suprised to hear a short piece in our local radio here in northern Germany pointing out the new devices in detail at a time I knew the event had not started yet. So they got it from there too.

Fritz Goebel September 29, 2011 um 11:13 am

"If I had a time machine, I would be using it to quietly dominate the various trading markets." I would do this too, but I would occasionally deliberately lose money from time to time to avoid suspicion of my advance knowledge. Who knows, maybe the future financial police might be watching.

fjtorres September 29, 2011 um 12:49 pm

Time machine aside, the rest of the article should required reading for everybody ij the publishing industry whining about Amazon.
The title alone speaks volumes about what the company is.
Omnivores are few and far between but they’re usually at the top of the food chain. 😉

Nate Hoffelder September 29, 2011 um 1:08 pm

Absolutely. This is one of the best analyses of yesterday’s events anywhere.That’s the only reason I bothered to post it.

Write a Comment