Skip to main content

210 Sarcastic Quotes for Sarcasm Lovers + Top 3

Sarcastic quotes allow you to express your quick-wittedness. Some researchers even believe that sarcasm is a sign of intelligence. In this article, we will offer you funny and cheeky sarcastic quotes and much more, to make sure you have everyone howling with laughter.

As a rhetorical device, sarcasm is a part of oral communication. However, be careful when making sarcastic remarks, as not everyone finds them funny.

Sarcastic Sayings and Quotes

Sarcastic Sayings and Quotes

The term “sarcasm” stems from the Greek word sarkasmos, meaning “to gnash the teeth,” “speak bitterly” and previously “tear flesh.” So as you can see, sarcastic language is usually used to express scorn or mockery, which can be directed at yourself or at others.

This article contains a wide variety of sarcastic quotes to suit any occasion. Whether you’re sick of Mondays, need a witty comeback, or just in the mood for some dry humor, we’ve got the sarcastic expression for you.

Here you will find more funny quotes for any occasion.

Savage and Sarcastic Quotes

Savage and Sarcastic Quotes

Do your friends often refer to you as the sarcastic one? If you’ve always got a witty comeback or smart remark, then you’re going to love adding some more sarcastic sayings to your repertoire, and we’ve got plenty to choose from.

So let’s start off with some savage sarcastic quotes, both from famous writers as well as anonymous, but super edgy, expressions. These can be used as comebacks to others or simply just as Facebook statuses to express your attitude.

  1. Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.
    (Socrates, Greek philosopher, 469-399 B.C.) 
  2. You would be doing me an enormous favour by shutting your mouth.
    (Unknown)
  3. Tell me what I did to make you angry – that way, I’ll know how to do it again.
    (Unknown)
  4. The most beautiful dreams of freedom were dreamt up in the dungeon.
    (Friedrich Schiller, German dramatist, 1759-1805)
  5. I’m busy at the moment. But I’ll happily ignore you another time.
    (Unknown)
  6. For my birthday, I wished you were gone.
    (Unknown)
  7. Do you practise being this stupid, or are you just naturally gifted?
    (Unknown)
  8. Jealousy is a terrible disease. Get well soon.
    (Unknown)
  9. I’m sorry… that I know you.
    (Unknown)
  10. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
    (Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, 1854-1900)
  11. Unless your name is Google, you should stop acting like you know everything.
    (Unknown)
  12. I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
    (Unknown)
  13. Some people need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.
    (Unknown)
  14. The bigger the family, the bigger the problems.
    (Unknown)
  15. You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
    (Unknown)
  16. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
    (Unknown)
  17. Never forget that you’re unique. Just like everybody else.
    (Unknown)
  18. I’m not listening, but by all means keep talking. I love how your voice makes my ears bleed.
    (Unknown)

Here you will find more sassy quotes.

Humorous and Sarcastic Quotes

Humorous and Sarcastic Quotes

As we all know, sarcasm isn’t just about making cut-throat remarks, it can also be a form of humor. Funny sarcastic quotes are often easier to use in an everyday context, as they are less likely to offend people than the savage remarks listed above.

So if you’re looking for a funny passing remark to make, a hilarious social media status to upload or just want to get a laugh for yourself, go ahead and read the options we’ve compiled below.

  1. If I had a dollar for every clever thing you said, I’d be broke.
    (Unknown)
  2. I’m not crazy. The voices in my head say I’m normal.
    (Unknown)
  3. Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough for sarcasm.
    (Unknown)
  4. I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, pens, phone, patience and even my sanity.
    (Unknown)
  5. They say, “good things take time.” That’s why I’m always late.
    (Unknown)
  6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
    (Unknown)
  7. When two people always think the same thing, one of them is unnecessary.
    (Unknown)
  8. I love sarcasm. It’s like hitting people in the face, but with words.
    (Unknown)
  9. He that lies down with dogs shall rise up with fleas.
    (Benjamin Franklin, American politician, 1706-1790)
  10. And the light at the end of the tunnel was just an oncoming train.
    (Unknown)
  11. I’m not really that funny. I’m just very mean and people think I’m joking.
    (Unknown)
  12. A great deal of pleasure lies in denying it to others.
    (Edgar Wallace, English writer, 1875-1932)
  13. That’s the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, and yet your face matches it.
    (Unknown)
  14. I want to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. And then walk into a pole.
    (Unknown)

Rude and Sarcastic Quotes

Rude and Sarcastic Quotes

For those days when you’re feeling a bit grumpy, a rude and sarcastic quote can really help you let off some steam. These sarcastic remarks are hilarious, but also quite rude – so be careful who you share them with.

  1. I don’t have the energy today to act like I like you.
    (Unknown)
  2. At least your mother thinks you’re handsome.
    (Unknown)
  3. My imaginary friends say you need therapy.
    (Unknown)
  4. Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.
    (Unknown)
  5. Zombies eat brains. You don’t need to worry about that.
    (Unknown)
  6. Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
    (Unknown)
  7. I apologise if it seems like I care. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.
    (Unknown)
  8. No, I’m not insulting you. I’m just describing you.
    (Unknown)
  9. I don’t have enough time or crayons to explain it to you.
    (Unknown)
  10. None of my multiple personalities like you.
    (Unknown)
  11. I lost your number… when I pressed “delete.”
    (Unknown)
  12. If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.
    (Unknown)
  13. Mirrors don’t lie, and lucky for you, they don’t laugh either.
    (Unknown)
  14. I still stand by it: my wife is faithful and the earth is flat.
    (Unknown)
  15. My neck is constantly hurting, probably because I’m always looking down on people.
    (Unknown)
  16. Whether you decide to marry or not, whichever you do, you will regret it.
    (Socrates, Greek philosopher, 469-399 B.C.) 
  17. Only once you have walked a mile in someone else’s shoes will you know what kind of fool he is. (Unknown)
  18. Normally, I never forget a face. In your case, I’m happy to make an exception.
    (Unknown)

Funny Sarcastic Quotes on Being Single

Funny Sarcastic Quotes on Being Single

If you’re single and can have a laugh at yourself, then you won’t be able to refrain from smirking at the quotes below. Even your single friends who can laugh at themselves will take these sayings with humor. Send them via whatsapp, for example.

  1. The best part of a relationship is the beginning, when you don’t know each other yet and are still single.
    (Unknown)
  2. Every pot finds its lid. Until then, there’s always plastic wrap.
    (Unknown)
  3. I don’t need “elite singles”, any full-blown idiot will do at this stage.
    (Unknown)
  4. They say every pot finds its lid. I think I must be a wok.
    (Unknown)
  5. My relationship is like a yacht. I don’t have one.
    (Unknown)
  6. Everybody says you can find love around every corner. My life must be a circle.
    (Unknown)
  7. Relationship status: idiot-free.
    (Unknown)
  8. Relationship status: I can fuck myself over perfectly well by myself, thank you.
    (Unknown)
  9. Relationship status: Lying diagonally across my bed.
    (Unknown)
  10. I don’t care about the prince, give me the castle!
    (Unknown)
  11. I have breakfast for two by myself in the mornings.
    (Unknown)
  12. Some spend their nights partying, others having wild sex. And I spend my nights charging my phone.
    (Unknown)
  13. You want to fall in love? You’d be better off falling from a bridge – it would hurt less!
    (Unknown)
  14. My ex has this really annoying habit: he breathes.
    (Unknown)
  15. I like being single. I’m always there when I need me.
    (Unknown)

Sarcastic Quotes about Mondays

Sarcastic Quotes about Mondays

Nobody likes getting up on Monday mornings. The weekend seems to go by in the blink of an eye, and before you know it, your alarm is going off for Monday morning again.

There are only a few things that can help ease the pain of a Monday morning: coffee, coffee, coffee… and maybe a few sarcastic Monday quotes. Check out some of these hilarious sarcastic quotes about Mondays to make you feel a bit better on those mornings and maybe share with friends.

  1. Yay, it’s Monday! Said no one ever.
    (Unknown)
  2. If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
    (Unknown)
  3. I don’t like Monday mornings or people who like Monday mornings. Or Mondays. Or mornings. Or people.
    (Unknown)
  4. I always say 'Morning' Instead of 'good morning' Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people.
    (Unknown)
  5. If Monday were a person, it wouldn’t have friends.
    (Unknown)
  6. Mondays: one of those days where even your coffee needs a coffee.
    (Unknown)
  7. Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, It’s Not Me – It’s You.
    (Unknown)
  8. This is the Mondayest Monday that ever Mondayed.
    (Unknown)
  9. SMONDAY: The moment when Sunday stops feeling like a Sunday and the anxiety of Monday kicks in.
    (Unknown)
  10. Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.
    (Unknown)

Epic Sarcastic Quotes about Fake and Ungrateful People

Epic Sarcastic Quotes about Fake and Ungrateful People

We’ve all experienced fake friends at one stage in our lives. It’s just part of growing up and realising who your real friends are. Some people just use you without so much as a thanks, some talk smack behind your back, and others only stick around for the good times.

If you’re currently discovering this side of one of your friends, we’ve got some sarcastic quotes to put your feelings into words below.

  1. Some friends are like pennies, two-faced and worthless.
    (Unknown)
  2. I hate two-faced people. It’s so hard to decide which face to slap first.
    (Unknown)
  3. People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience not to kill them.
    (Unknown)
  4. An ungrateful man resembles a hog under a tree eating acorns but never looking up to see where they come from.
    (Timothy Dexter, American businessman, 1747-1806)
  5. Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I only exist when you need something.
    (Unknown)
  6. Fake people don’t surprise me any more; loyal people do.
    (Unknown)
  7. The crap you hear about me might be true, or it could be as fake as the person who told you. (Unknown)
  8. I bring too much to the table to be treated like a napkin.
    (Unknown)
  9. People don’t remember the million times you’ve helped them, only the one time you don’t.” (Unknown)
  10. Real friends don’t get offended when you insult them. They smile and call you something even more offensive.
    (Unknown)

Here you will find beautiful quotes about true friendship.

Sarcastic Jokes for Sarcasm Lovers

Sarcastic Jokes for Sarcasm Lovers

These side-splitting sarcastic jokes are sure to have your friends and family wetting themselves with laughter, especially the sarcasm lovers among them.

Try using these jokes in a Facebook status, a Tweet or sharing on your Instagram story. You’re guaranteed to get tons of likes and laughs.

  1. They say you are what you eat, so lay off the nuts already.
    (Unknown)
  2. When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don’t think it’s sweet. I just think it’s surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.
    (Unknown)
  3. Relationships are a lot like algebra. You look at your X and wonder Y?
    (Unknown)
  4. What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.
    (Unknown)
  5. What do you do when someone asks you for a small donation for a swimming pool? You give them a glass of water.
    (Unknown)
  6. Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
    (Unknown)
  7. I swear I wasn’t lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again.
    (Unknown)
  8. If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard.
    (Unknown)
  9. An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough.
    (Unknown)
  10. My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly, "we need to talk.”
    (Unknown)

Top 3 Sarcastic Quotes about Work

Top 3 Sarcastic Quotes about Work

Some sarcastic quotes often make it a bit easier to put up with your stressful job. Below, we’ve compiled our top three favourite ones.

  1. Welcome to the latest episode of “I’m at work and I might puke again.”
    (Unknown)
  2. Boss, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings when I called you “dumb.” I really thought you already knew that.
    (Unknown)
  3. When someone asks me a stupid question, it’s my legal obligation to make a sarcastic remark.
    (Unknown)

Sarcastic Quotes that Say “Mind Your Own Business”

Sarcastic Quotes that Say “Mind Your Own Business”

Some people just love getting their nose into other people’s business. And sometimes, no matter how polite you try to be, they just don’t get the message to stay out of yours. That’s why it can be handy to have a few sarcastic quotes at hand for just such an occasion.

Check out these sarcastic quotes for telling people to mind their own business below, for when someone just isn’t getting the message.

  1. Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business again.
    (Unknown)
  2. The hardest thing about business is minding your own.
    (Unknown)
  3. There’s no business like staying the hell out of my business, so please stay out.
    (Unknown)
  4. Roses are red. The sky is blue. I mind my own business. Why don’t you?
    (Unknown)
  5. There are three proven rules for good teeth: brush after every meal; see your dentist twice a year; and mind your own business.
    (Henry Boyd, American business owner, 1802-1866)
  6. Did you know that there are zero calories in minding your own damn business?
    (Unknown)
  7. Sometimes I feel sorry for judgemental people and their boring lives. Other times, I’m jealous. I wish
  8. I had that much time to worry about things that are none of my business.
    (Unknown)
  9. If you don’t like the way I do things, feel free to mind your own business.
    (Unknown)
  10. I’m sorry… I didn’t realise you were the expert on my life and how I should live it! Please, continue while I take notes…
    (Unknown)
  11. They say milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business!
    (Unknown)
  12. Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must be none of your business, then.
    (Unknown)

Sarcastic Quotes about Bad Fathers

Sarcastic Quotes about Bad Fathers

Father-child relationships can be complicated, and not always guaranteed. Whether your father was absent, a bad parent or a bad person, it’s important to find a way to let out your feelings towards him. Sharing a sarcastic quote about bad fathers can be a good way to do that.

If you have a troubled relationship with your dad, give these quotes a read and share them on social media or with friends – they’re also perfect for sharing on Father’s Day.

  1. Deadbeat dads are like magicians, they pull lifetime disappearing acts.
    (Unknown)
  2. I wish there was a Bad Dad’s day. Then I could truly say, “you’re the best!”
    (Unknown)
  3. Deadbeat dads: May your Father’s Day be as free of parental responsibility as every other day of the year.
    (Unknown)
  4. You know how to spot a deadbeat dad? Just listen, he will be the one blaming the mother for everything, including why he’s not around.
    (Unknown)
  5. When I think of Father’s Day, I think of mom.
    (Unknown)
  6. It’s much easier to become a father than to be a dad.
    (Unknown)
  7. Facebook: helping deadbeat parents everywhere pretend to be involved with their kids.
    (Unknown)
  8. All you deadbeat dads should dress up like fathers for Halloween.
    (Unknown)
  9. The absent are never without fault, nor the present without excuse.
    (Benjamin Franklin, American politician, 1706-1790)
  10. Just remember, when you are ignoring them, you are teaching them to live without you.
    (Unknown)

Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes for Sarcasm Lovers

Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes for Sarcasm Lovers

Inspirational quotes can give you the motivation you need to have a productive day. But if you combine them with sarcasm, you’re guaranteed to have a laugh at the same time. And some days, all you need is a little extra humor in your life.

Below, we’ve gathered our favorite sarcastic motivational quotes to read with your morning coffee, so you can be guaranteed a great day in a good mood.

  1. Always give 100%, except when giving blood.
    (Unknown)
  2. There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? (Ken Hubbard, U.S. humorist, 1868-1930)
  3. True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing.
    (Unknown)
  4. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
    (Unknown)
  5. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the TV channel.
    (Unknown)
  6. I can resist anything except temptation.
    (Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, 1854-1900)
  7. No matter how terrible it gets, I’m always rich in the dollar store.
    (Unknown)
  8. Don’t be afraid to make misteaks.
    (Unknown)
  9. I’m not lazy. I’m just highly motivated to do nothing.
    (Unknown)

Sarcastic Quotes for your Boss

Sarcastic Quotes for your Boss

We’ve all had a terrible boss at one point or another. Even the best bosses can drive us crazy at times. And when dealing with them, it’s hard not to be sarcastic sometimes.

Below are a few hilarious sarcastic quotes about bosses. Just a warning, though: maybe don’t send these to your boss – unless you want to end up fired.

  1. There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.
    (Unknown)
  2. My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my payslip.
    (Unknown)
  3. If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
    (Cannon’s Law)
  4. Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss’s job.
    (Unknown)
  5. When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.
    (Unknown)
  6. Always remember that the toes you step on today could be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.
    (Unknown)
  7. The mountain of paperwork on my desk makes me envy the trees that died to produce it.
    (Unknown)
  8. Appearing busy to avoid being laid off has become more exhausting than actually working. (Unknown)
  9. Dear Boss, first of all, I would like to let you know I’m typing this with my middle finger.
    (Unknown)

Sarcastic Quotes about New Year

Sarcastic Quotes about New Year

Every year, without fail, January 1st comes around and we all set a ton of unrealistic goals and promise to be a better person this year. And every year, these goals only last a couple of weeks at most.

If you’ve been there, why not take the opportunity to laugh at yourself this year with these sarcastic New Year’s quotes about resolutions and New Year’s Eve parties.

  1. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!
    (Unknown)
  2. I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year. (Unknown)
  3. I’m still the same person I was last year – now I’m just hungover.
    (Unknown)
  4. My New Year’s resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic. Like I won’t screw that up right away!
    (Unknown)
  5. My resolution was to read more so I put the subtitles on my TV.
    (Unknown)
  6. New Year’s Eve forecast: Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
    (Unknown)
  7. Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
    (Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, 1854-1900)
  8. My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating. I’m not starting until next week, though. (Unknown)
  9. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the New Year. But then I remembered, nobody likes a quitter.
    (Unknown)
  10. Well, it’s a brand-new year, which means it’s time for me to make a whole new set of unrealistic goals and inevitably fail at them within the first month.
    (Unknown)
  11. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me my New Year’s resolutions. (Unknown)

Funny and Sarcastic Quotes on Life

Funny and Sarcastic Quotes on Life

Life can be difficult and confusing. Tackling it with a bit of sarcasm and humor can make it a bit easier. Check out these funny, sarcastic quotes about life to take on a more light-hearted approach to the way you live your life.

  1. Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
    (Unknown)
  2. Do not take life too seriously. You never get out of it alive.
    (Elbert Hubbard, American writer, 1856-1915)
  3. When something goes wrong in your life, just say ‘PLOT TWIST’ and move on.
    (Unknown)
  4. Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.
    (Unknown)
  5. If you stumble, make it part of the dance.
    (Unknown)
  6. When life shuts a door… open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.
    (Unknown)
  7. You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. Now you tell me you love me, that’s why I’m scared!
    (Unknown)
  8. An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
    (Dylan Thomas, Welsh poet, 1914-1953)
  9. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
    (Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, 1854-1900)
  10. This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.
    (Unknown)
  11. Knowledge is like underwear. It’s useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
    (Unknown)

Quotes about Sarcasm and Karma

Quotes about Sarcasm and Karma

Are you looking for karma quotes that are “a bit different”? Then you’ve hit the jackpot with our list below, because we’ve gathered sarcastic quotes about karma for you. You can send them to a person you wished karma would hit on or just use them as a reminder for yourself.

  1. If karma doesn’t strike you, then I will.
    (Unknown)
  2. Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.
    (Unknown)
  3. It’s called karma and it’s pronounced like this: ha-ha-ha-ha.
    (Unknown)
  4. Mess with me, and I’ll let karma do its job. Mess with my family and I’m your karma.
    (Unknown)
  5. I hope karma hits you in the face before I do.
    (Unknown)
  6. When karma gets you, I’ll be sitting in the front row, clapping.
    (Unknown)
  7. Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.
    (Confucius, Chinese philosopher, 551 B.C.-479 B.C.)
  8. I love when karma hits back and my inner Buddha does a lap of honour in his Bobby car, waving his middle finger and honking loudly.
    (Unknown)
  9. Life may not have hands, but it’s perfectly capable of spanking you.
    (Unknown)
  10. Dear karma, I have a long list of people you’ve missed.
    (Unknown)
  11. “And some day, Carmen will come and hit you in the face.” “Do you mean Karma?” “I don’t care what the old lady’s called. What matters is, you’re getting hit in the face!”
    (Unknown)

Cheeky Quotes and Sarcastic Sayings for your WhatsApp Status

Cheeky Quotes and Sarcastic Sayings for your WhatsApp Status

Sarcastic sayings also work great as your WhatsApp status. Below, we have 17 cheeky and sarcastic quotes for you. You’re guaranteed to make some people on your contact list laugh.

  1. Consideration for others is the root of all displeasure.
    (Francois-René de Chateaubriand, French writer, 1768-1848)
  2. Do you know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.
    (Unknown)
  3. What’s the opposite of irony? Wrinkly.
    (Unknown)
  4. Sorry, my dog ate your text again.
    (Unknown)
  5. Hear that? It’s the sound of you not talking for once.
    (Unknown)
  6. According to a study, people who swear a lot are more intelligent than stupid fucking ass-munchers. (Unknown)
  7. Some days, it’s like someone has shit in the confetti cannon.
    (Unknown)
  8. You look good with your eyes closed, but you look best when my eyes are closed.
    (Unknown)
  9. When life gives you lemons, throw them at somebody.
    (Unknown)
  10. Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people isn’t as much fun.
    (Unknown)
  11. Sarcasm is the body’s natural defence mechanism against stupidity.
    (Unknown)
  12. They say laughter is the best medicine… your face could heal the whole world.
    (Unknown)
  13. I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.
    (Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, 1854-1900)
  14. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the TV channel.
    (Unknown)
  15. I don’t always put up with idiots, but when I do, I’m probably at work.
    (Unknown)
  16. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, as long as you throw it hard enough.
    (Unknown)
  17. The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
    (Mark Twain, American writer, 1835-1910)

Short Sarcastic Quotes

Short Sarcastic Quotes

Keep it simple, stupid: also a good rule for sarcastic quotes. Below, we’ve compiled over 20 short and sweet sarcastic expressions for you. They’re perfect for making your friends laugh or use them yourself as a caption for social media, for example.

  1. I am not young enough to know everything.
    (Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, 1854-1900)
  2. Are you always so dumb, or is today a special occasion?
    (Unknown)
  3. Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.
    (Unknown)
  4. Sarcasm. Because hitting stupid people isn’t allowed.
    (Unknown)
  5. I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case… go ahead.
    (Unknown)
  6. Sarcasm: the ability to insult dumb people without them noticing.
    (Unknown)
  7. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
    (Unknown)
  8. Luck is when bad luck strikes others.
    (Horace)
  9. I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode.
    (Unknown)
  10. My neighbours listen to good music, whether they like it or not!
    (Unknown)
  11. The clever give in. That’s why the world is run by idiots.
    (Unknown)
  12. It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone can have good taste.
    (Unknown)
  13. I clapped because it was over, not because I enjoyed it.
    (Unknown)
  14. People need to start appreciating the effort I’m making not to be a serial killer.
    (Unknown)
  15. I take really hot showers to practice burning in hell.
    (Unknown)
  16. Nothing’s more quiet than a loaded gun.
    (Heinrich Heine, German poet, 1797-1856)
  17. Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
    (Unknown)
  18. Life is good. You should get one.
    (Unknown)
  19. The most pleasant people are those who have never lived.
    (Edgar Allan Poe, American writer, 1809-1849)
  20. I’m a role model for others. A bad role model.
    (Unknown)
  21. Life is a rollercoaster and I’m going to vomit.
    (Unknown)
  22. My friends are so much cooler than you. They’re invisible.
    (Unknown)

Here you will find more short and cute sayings.

20 votes, average: 4.50 out of 520 votes, average: 4.50 out of 520 votes, average: 4.50 out of 520 votes, average: 4.50 out of 520 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5 (20 votes, average: 4.50 out of 5)
You need to be a registered member to rate this.
Loading...

Similar Articles