115 Beer Quotes, Sayings and Puns in 8 Categories

If when you’re at a bar; while barbecuing or celebrating, nothing beats a cold beer for you — then you’ve come to the right place. We collected quotes, jokes, toasts, wisdom, funny sayings, and puns about beer that are suitable for any occasion.

Table of Contents

Beer is not just a drink, it’s a culture. From quotes by famous philosophers to funny toasts – there are many sayings about the beverage. In this article, we explore some of the most memorable and funniest beer quotes and what they reveal about our favorite drink.

Funny Quotes and Sayings about Beer

Funny quotes and sayings about beer

If you don’t have enough to laugh about when you are drinking with your friends, you can also liven up a social evening with some funny quotes or sayings about beer.

We’ve collected plenty of humorous sayings and quotes that are guaranteed to make that beer come out your nostrils.

Everyone has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.
(William Claude Fields, US actor, 1880-1946)
You should never take your work home with you. Unless you work in a brewery.
The first beer, that quenches the thirst. A second puts me in a cheerful mood. After three, I do not care, so I just keep drinking.
In heaven there is no beer. Therefore, we drink it here.
Brew can do it!
Drink a beer in the morning and the day will be good.
Always think positive: If the bottle is half empty, then I’m half full.
Water only has flavor when it has been in the brewery.
Being half drunk is wasted money.
We have an open-door policy: bring beer, and we will open the door.
There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.
(Thomas Love Peacock, English novelist, 1785-1866)
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power, and in water there is bacteria.
Draft beer, not people.
Love is ale we need.
Save the earth, it’s the only planet with beer.
Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat, it makes you lean … against bars, tables, chairs and poles.
Beer. If you can’t taste it, why bother?
If I saved all the money I’ve spent on beer, I’d spend it on beer.
Take a pitcher, it’ll last longer.
Beer is always good for what ales you.

Here you can find even more funny quotes and sayings.

Funny Jokes and Puns on Beer

Funny jokes and Puns on beer

Puns, quotes, and funny jokes about beer are not just for being drunk at the pub or the bar. You can also use them to lighten up your everyday life and the life of your friends.

Note: The funny jokes below are often ironic and should not always be taken seriously.

A man comes home at two in the morning.
Woman: "I told you that you could have two beers, and to come home at ten o’clock."
Man: "Oh! I must have mixed up the two numbers there."
I’m giving up drinking beer for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I meant: I’m giving up. Drinking beer for a month.
You can’t solve all your problems with chocolate. That’s what beer is for!
Burpees? I thought you said beer, please!
Sports make you feel like you look better naked. Beer does that too, by the way!
My wife has a big drinking problem – Me!
Does running out of beer count as cardio?
I said no to beer, but it just doesn’t listen.
Dinosaurs never drank beer and went extinct. Don’t make the same mistake!
Eight beers provide the daily requirement of vitamin C. Healthy eating can be so simple.
In my younger years, I wanted to be a bus driver because I liked the hissing sound when the doors open. And then I discovered canned beer…
Sometimes you run into people who change your life for the better. Those people are called bartenders.
Just been to the bakery. Whenever I see a yeast bread, a deep sadness comes over me. It could have been a beer.
What is worse: Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s? – Parkinson’s: Better to forget a beer than to knock one over.
What is a pint’s favorite month? Novembeer.
Did you know 14 muscles are activated when opening a beer? Fitness is my passion.
"What would you say to a beer?"
"Nothing – I would drink it!"
Want to go to the gym with me? – You spelled “brewery” wrong.
Beer has few vitamins. That’s why you should drink as much of it as possible.
Customer: "Do they always have such bad beer?" Waiter: "No! On Tuesday we have a day off."
Sometimes I work out. Sometimes I drink beer. Sometimes I do both.
I followed my heart and it led me to the closest brewery.
How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Beer drinkin’ don’t do half the harm of love making.
(Old New England proverb)
The only thing worse than a brewery without malt is a pub without beer.

Short Quotes and Sayings about Beer

Short sayings and quotes about beer

If you are looking for a particularly short saying about beer, you will find it in this chapter. The following sentences all have no more than 20 words. If you’re a real beer fan, they’re also suitable as statuses – for example, on WhatsApp.

Cold beer makes warm blood.
Precious beer you do me good, give me confidence and courage.
It takes beer to make a thirst worthwhile.
(German proverb)
A little bit of beer is divine medicine.
(Paracelsus, Swiss physician, 1493-1541)
The twentieth century will drown in beer.
A meal of bread, cheese and beer constitutes the perfect food.
(Queen Elizabeth I, former Queen of England and Ireland, 1533-1603)
Beer goes right through you.
From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world.
(Arnold (Arnoul) of Soissons, 1040–1087, saint of the Catholic Church)
Beer in the morning repels sorrow and worry!
Love is too philosophical for me, I’ll stick to beer.
More beer in the belly than water in the head.
Beer is the answer! (No idea what the question was)
The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.
(From Egypt)
Beer, beer, what are you doing to me?
It’s a fair wind that blew men to ale.
The best place to drink beer is at home. Or on a river bank, if the fish don’t bother you.
(Washington Irving, American short-story writer, 1783-1859)
Saturdays are for the beers.
I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
(William Shakespeare, English playwright, 1564-1616)
They who drink beer will think beer.
(Washington Irving, American short-story writer, 1783-1859)
Beer is the fountain of happiness.
Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
(Henry Lawson, Australian writer, 1876-1922)
Beer … a high and mighty liquor.
(Gaius Julius Caesar, Roman statesman, general, and writer, 100 B.C-44 B.C.)
Beer is the reason I get up every afternoon.
A good beer is the host’s honor, a full glass is the guest’s enjoyment.
Just being pretty is not enough. You must also be able to drink beer.

Cool Quotes on Beer

Cool quotes on Beer

The next list expresses cool sayings about beer for you. Among them are both quotes and modern sayings about the popular cold beverage.

You can send them via social media to friends and acquaintances who also like to drink beer, or score with them while you are ordering a cold beer in a bar.

Water too becomes a noble drop,
when mixed with malt and hops!
(German proverb)
On the 8th day God created beer
and no one’s heard from Him since.
A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.
(Bohemian proverb)
The church is near,
but the road is icy.
The bar is far away,
but I will walk carefully.
(Russian proverb)
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
(Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, 1854-1900)
What care I how time advances, I am drinking ale today.
(Edgar Allan Poe, American writer, 1809-1849)
He that drinketh strong beer and goes to bed right mellow, lives as he ought to live and dies a hearty fellow.
I have fed purely upon ale; I have eat my ale, drank my ale, and I always sleep upon ale.
(George Farquhar, irischer Dramatiker, 1677-1707)
Who does not know beer, does not know what is good. Beer makes the home pleasant.
(Sumerian proverb)
Englishmen are like their own beer: Frothy on top, dregs on the bottom, the middle excellent.
(Voltaire, French Enlightenment writer, 1694-1778)

Find more cool sayings here.

Wisdom about Beer

Wisdoms about Beer

The "invention" of beer dates back several millennia. Beer was drunk centuries of years ago. That is why there are many old sayings and proverbs about beer. In some proverbs, beer is also used as a metaphor for something else.

Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war.
(Frederick William the Great, Elector of Brandenburg, 1620-1688)
He that buys land buys many stones,
He that buys flesh buys many bones,
He that buys eggs buys many shells,
But he that buys good ale buys nothing else.
(John Ray, British theologian and classical scholar, 1627-1705)
God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson, US philosopher, 1803-1882)
It takes Beer to make thirst worthwhile.
(German proverb)
The roots and herbes beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth, strengtheneth and quickeneth the sight of the eyes.
(Nicholas Culpeper, English botanist and astrologer, 1616-1654)
Life is like a beer. Sip by sip you must enjoy it.
Wine makes you mean, beer makes you quarrelsome— a staggering drunk is not much fun.
(Bible, Proverbs 20:1-23)
Beer brewers shall sell no beer to the citizens, unless it be three weeks old; to the foreigner they may knowingly sell younger beer.
(German beer law, 1466)
An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer.
(Confucius, Chinese philosopher, 551 B.C.-479 B.C.)
Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and celebrate the good days.
(Egyptian proverb)
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
(Abraham Lincoln, American president, 1809-1865)
The best beer is where priests go to drink. For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.
(William Shakespeare, English playwright, 1564-1616)
Life isn’t all beer and skittles, but beer and skittles, or something better of the same sort, must form a good part of every Englishman’s education.
(Thomas Hughes, English lawyer and author, 1822-1896)
Beer has food value, but food has no beer value.
Better thin beer than an empty jug.
(Danish Proverb)

Birthday Wishes with Beer

Sayings and wishes about beer for a birthday

A birthday is not only an occasion to celebrate, but also to drink! If the birthday boy or girl likes to drink beer, you can congratulate or toast her or him with a funny birthday saying about beer.

The funny birthday wishes below are for every beer-lover and you can toast with them on the birthday boy or -girl.

May you always have love in your heart and beer in your belly.
Cheers, beers and many more years!
We all know: "Friends don’t let friends drink Lite Beer."
So naturally we’re having a good beer together to celebrate your birthday!
Happy birthday beer-lover! They say the greatest gift is giving, itself. You know which beer I like – I’m waiting!
It´s your birthday today, so let’s not only have 3 cheers, let’s have shitloads of beer.
Today is your birthday, so we are celebrating. And as always, with lots of beer.
Happy Beerthday to you! You are as special to me as the froth of bubbles on the top of a glass of beer. Here’s a toast to you!

Here you can find even more ideas for funny birthday wishes.

Sayings for Toast with Beer

Sayings for toast with beer

In the next section you will find many Irish toasts. You can use these beer toasts at the next party with your friends.

So, let’s raise a glass of your favorite beer and toast to good times with your friends!

Here’s to long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer — and another one!
(Irish toast)
Be one who drinks the finest of ales every day without fail.
Even when you have drauk enough, remember that ale is wonderful stuff.
For every wound, a balm.
For every sorrow, cheer.
For every storm, a calm.
For every thirst, a beer.
(Irish Toast)
You guys came by to have some fun. You’ll come and stay all night, I fear. But I know how to make you run. I’ll serve you all generic beer.
(Irish toast)
Here’s to beer, so amber and pure. Not as sweet as a woman’s lips, But a damn sight more sincere.
(Old Irish Toast)